we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
