I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Randomize
