ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
