you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
