I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
