after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
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I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
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Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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