awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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