I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
