life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
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