Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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