I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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