Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I just forgot I was standing up.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
that may or may not have been my penis.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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