fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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