Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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