I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
