Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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