when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
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He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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