she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
