dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
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We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
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i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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