Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
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