okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
