Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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