There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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