Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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