For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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