Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
