Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
