Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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