Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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