you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Sacagawea was the original milf.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
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