I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
