I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
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