the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
