Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize