will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
