I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
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rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
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Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize