That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
wow bdsm is so cute
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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