But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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