how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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