I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Randomize
