just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
