thus making me awesome and them whores
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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