i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
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All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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