You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
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