He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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