so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize