We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
