I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
