when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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