what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
When are your genitals available?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
