i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize