I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
