Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Randomize
