I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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