You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
