Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
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The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
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When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize