I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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