I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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