Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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