Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
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