the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize