im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
